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Pranks
Michael's and Rob's mothers became friends. Mrs Matthews would leave
Rob at Michael's while she went shopping. Sometimes, Rob's mother would
stay at Michael's and look after the four children, while Michael's
mother went up-town.
Michael knew all about Robin Hood and King Arthur and the boys played
pretend games and acted the stories. Michael had some lead soldiers
which his Dad's mate at work had made for him. Only one soldier was
in a coloured uniform. The others were just plain lead.
"Don't suck them! They're poisonous!" warned Michael, repeating what
his Dad had told him.
When it was Michael's turn to have the painted one, he imagined it was
his heroic Granddad Eli, the one he had never known, the one who had
been killed in the war, in 1915. One day, Rob said, "There's going to
be another war."
Michael responded with, "Who says so?"
"My dad. He says if we don't listen to Churchill, we'll be in big trouble."
"Who's Churchill?
"I don't know. I haven't asked him."
Another time, the two boys were playing out the front and a passing
neighbour, Celia Wilkinson, gave them a bobbin with thread on it. Michael
knew her friendly face well. She was one of the workers who waved to
him when he was watching them all go to the mill.
She'd nicked it from work, and Michael said, "Coo, it's got miles on
it. Let's tie up the houses." So they did.
It was quiet in the street, a mild, spring afternoon, and nobody about.
They tied the end of the thread to Michael's front-door knocker and
unravelled it carefully down the side alley. They turned left down the
back alley, under the shadow of the throbbing mill, and went back into
Edward Street from the far-side, near the little shop, which was closed
for the afternoon. Finally, they made their way back up the street,
keeping the thread taut across windowsills and across doorways as they
went.
They did not snap the thread once. Their mission was completed back
at Michael's again. Then they both laughed. They were always laughing.
They just saw the funny side of things in the same sort of way.
Another time, Michael said, "Let's go and see my Nan."
"Where does she live?"
"Not far, I know the way," said Michael. "We'll go on our scooters"
"What will our Mams say?"
"Don't worry! It'll be worth it. My Nan always gives me some sweets."
"Alright then."
It was a bit steep up Friar Street so they had to stop scooting and
pushed their scooters up the slope. They stopped to peep in at the shire
horses, which were kept on the left hand side, just across Moor Lane
from Mitchell's, in Brewery Lane. The strong horses were used to pull
heavy loads all round the town.
Some of the horses were in the shed which acted as their stable. One
huge horse was tethered to a post in the middle of the yard. The boys
peered at the animals through the spaces between the bars of the wide,
high, iron gates.
"See that white one," said Michael, "My Nan's neighbour, Mrs. Wilson,
used to own her, when she lived on a canal boat. It's called Florrie
and she used to pull a barge."
"Big, aren't they?" said Rob.
"Yes, and they can hurt you," replied Michael. "Mam says I should never
try to touch them or stroke them."
"That's alright," said Rob, "I don't want to really anyway do you?"
"No," said Michael, as one of the huge beasts stamped a heavy hoof.
The ground shook beneath their feet and the gate they were leaning on
rattled. That horse was a real giant.
On an impulse, Michael bent down and picked up a small stone. He threw
it at the big horse but missed. It turned its head slowly towards them,
more in curiosity than alarm Just then, by coincidence, a man emerged
from the shed.
Michael thought he might have seen him throw the pebble. His heart stood
still. His stomach turned over.
"Run!" he shouted at Rob. "He's after us!"
The man was only fiddling with the horse's tether but Rob needed no
urging. The pair of them hurtled up the hill, dragging their scooters
behind them.
There was a perverse pleasure in feeling they were being chased and
escaping their pursuer. They liked having adventures together.
They crossed Dalton Square. In the middle of the square they took turns
to climb up onto the few-inches-wide edge of the plinth, which supported
Queen Victoria's statue. They both managed to go all the way round,
rubbing noses on the way with the carvings of eminent Victorians, before
they climbed down again to safety. Michael didn't tell Rob that was
the first time he'd done it, without his mother helping and waiting
to catch him, if he slipped.
They managed to cross the main road without any problems because there
was hardly any traffic, even though it was one of the main roads, north
and south, through Lancaster.
They passed the end of George Street. They paused and watched a clogger
in a leather apron working near the window of the clog repairers in
Thurnham Street. The man smiled at them and went on fitting strips of
iron to the wooden sole of a clog. The boys turned into Marton Street.
Nan's was at the near end and she was really pleased to see them.
She gave them some sweets from the tin which she kept in a cupboard.
They sat quietly next to each other on her settee while Nan went on
with what she'd been doing.
They watched her take some bread out of the oven at the side of the
fire. She turned her bread tins upside down on the well-scrubbed, wooden
table and lifted them. Under each one was a fresh loaf. "Done to a turn.
Risen nicely they have!" Nan declared, wiping her hands on her apron,
after inspecting her baking for flaws. The aroma from the bread made
the boys' nostrils twitch. It smelt lovely. They had an unexpected bonus,
when she laid some butter on thickly and gave each of them a bit of
the crust off one of her still-hot loaves.
"Just a taster each," said Nan, "tha mustn't spoil tha teas or I'll
have your mothers after me."
They still sat close together on her settee contentedly, eating the
bread, sucking the sweets, swinging their legs, talking to Nan.
Then Michael's and Rob's mothers arrived, both frantic, after searching
all over the place for the two boys. There was a terrible row. Margaret
blamed Nan for the boys' going missing.
"I didn't know they were coming.It's nothing to do with me," Nan protested.
"I thought you'd let them come."
"Course I didn't! Would I do that, with that main road to cross?"
"Well it did cross my mind that it was a bit funny but you young ‘uns
are always doing funny things."
That did it: they had a real set to.
Michael was smugly pleased. Any anger at what they'd done was turned
away from him and he felt satisfied that he was the cause of the commotion.
Nan was secretly happy because her grandson had had the urge to come
and see her. And she really enjoyed having a go at the silly young thing
who had married her Gordon. It was about time that she was put in her
place, brought down a peg or two.
Only Margaret lost out, especially as she'd had to beg Next-door to
keep an eye on the babies' prams in the yard, while she and Sheila Matthews
went looking for the missing boys. Only that morning she had vowed to
herself that she wouldn't talk to her unfriendly neighbour again, after
further complaints, this time about Margaret overfilling her dustbin
and letting rubbish blow about the shared yard.
When Gordon arrived home that evening, Margaret's eyes were still red-rimmed
because of all her crying. She poured out her troubles to her husband.
He felt aggrieved. He didn't want to be greeted with all that nonsense.
It wasn't the first time and it wouldn't be the last when he felt like
piggy-in-the-middle between his wife and mother. He said as little as
possible in response to his wife's moaning. "Least said, soonest mended!"
he thought.
ABOUT THE WRITER
Bill Jervis was born in St. Thomas's Place, Lancaster in 1933 but his first
memories are of his home in Edward Street and then Bowland Drive. Schools attended:
St. Anne's, Edward Street; St.Mary's, on The Quay; Ryelands Junior School and
the Grammar School.
Bill Jervis on Heysham Head in 1953
Before leaving the area for National Service, he was employed briefly at Heysham
Towers Holiday Camp as a washer-upper and waiter, as a postman in Lancaster,
as a bus-conductor at Morecambe etc.
Most of his life after National Service and teacher-training, has been spent
in Norfolk, where he lives in retirement pursuing many hobbies and with a very
full social life.
Married, with three children, he and Nancy hope to celebrate their 50th wedding
anniversary, in 2004.
He is an artist who has painted consistently and written, mainly poetry, for
over 50 years and is at present engaged on a many-volumed autobiography, already
more than 2000 pages long, in which he is trying to celebrate the lives of
many friends who have touched his life along the way.
MORE STORIES... FACES AND PHASES Our weekly serial of old
Lancaster by Bill Jervis
SHORT STORIES
The Devil's
Paradise by Jim Barton A
satirical, cruel but true, view of life in Lancaster in the 1980s... fond memories. R.A.D.
Do Skerton Bus Stop by Mollie Baxter If only arts funding was
always this much fun! • Tea with
Oolin by Mollie Baxter Alien encounters over a cup of Earl
Grey, hot. The Miracle
Worker by Charmian Coates Shenangians in a Blackpool pub have
unexpected results. •
Evacuees by Bill Jervis A schoolboys' pitched
battles on Padfields, Lancaster, in 1944 remembered. Snapshots by
Bill Jervis A chance encounter brings back
memories of wartime Morecambe.