HOLIDAYS IN THE SUN 2003

Thursday 19 - Sunday 22 June

Reviewed by Perks Jobsworth for Virtual Lancaster

Last weekend the annual punk fest hit Morecambe like a wave of beautiful peacocks complete with amazing hair and clothes, lots of (mainly) friendly shouting, and a whole world of cider, speed, and pogoing. Local people seemed to be having a great time, what with the visual treats in store all weekend as well as the undoubted huge boost to the economy - pubs and supermarkets had to constantly re-order booze, and hungover punks ravenously ate up all the food in Morecambe.

To the uninitiated, punks might appear to be broadly similar, but Perksy Jobsworth, working at Holidays in the Sun for the weekend, saw huge differences between some of the punters; from the smiley rainbow clad animal rights activists to the rather grim skinhead supporters of Sunday's headliners The Business. There was a massive line up of 110 bands, performing in 3 venues - the Festival Market, the Platform, and the Dome - a logistical nightmare for the organisers and staff that was carried off well. Next year the festival will be renamed Wasted, which seems appropriate enough on more than one count…It's probably asking for it to call an event in the North 'Holidays in the Sun' despite the music reference!

There were the usual fezzy carryings-on like the bloke sidling around offering cheap baccy (mind you, he was probably from Morecambe anyway) and the two seriously trashed people mirroring each others' cartwheels across the back of the Festival Market venue, their mohicans unsteadily sweeping the floor. There was the synchronised puking behind the back of the First Aid wagon, the bloke who stage dived with a glass bottle in his pocket, (ouch!) as well as lovely touches like the several families of 3 generations of proud and smiling punks. But there are a few moments which will be with Perksy for some time - despite having access to all areas, commitments outside the venues rendered much of the music unavailable, so fly-on-the-wall observations were what kept her entertained for the duration.

The overall feeling of Holidays in the Sun was one of pleasure that 3,000 very drunk people loosely united through music and style were so amiable and relatively peace loving (although this is frequently the case with festivals or big parties). One steward told of the approach made to him by a nearby festival goer:

Punk: Hello mate. Fancy a fight?

Steward (nervously): Er, not really mate…

Punk: Oh sorry - I'm a bit pissed. Would you care for a cigarette?

It was all a bit merry prankster really. The sight of someone being bunged into a wheelie bin and trundled around by his muscular posse troubled Perksy's gentle soul until she realised that the muffled screaming was helpless laughter. Continuing this theme, even the frequent requests for a blow job were not at all hard to handle (no pun intended), as a simple 'Of course! Please see the large man in red over there! (Head of security) elicited much chuckling and no offence was taken on either side.

A skateboarding punk surrounded by his mates asked the naïve Perksy if she'd like to see what he could do. Enthusiastic about skate tricks, the answer was yes! In the twinkling of an eye, the supple young man reached into his trousers, produced his willie, and proceeded to give it a good suck, pausing only to ask 'Would you like a go luv?' Trying (and failing) to maintain cool at all times, the answer was 'I've already eaten thanks', followed by rapid blushing and scuttling away.
Towards the end of the final day, there was a slight atmospheric change in that the Mohicans and bondage trousers were joined by dogs in fancy dress… An animal lover herself, Perksy found herself in conversation with the owner of 3 British bulldogs who were decked out in designer union jack overcoats:

Perksy: O wot cute little doggies! Which band are they here to see?

Man: The Business of course.

Perksy: (fondling doggies, which embarrassed Man by fawning and skipping around) But are they not hot in these overcoats? Perhaps little dresses might be better in this hot weather?

Man: Grrr.

It just wouldn't be a punk fest any other way. See you there next year!