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| reviews > KAMPUS - LANCASTER'S GAY BAR | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Lancaster's
New Gay Bar, KAMPUS Note: this venue is now closed
It was relaxed, because there was not a whisper of trouble or discord of any kind. Lancaster does not condone such aggression, and gay people deserve it no more than anyone else. Our gay hosts, Mr John Parkinson and Ms Karen Smalley, affirm they are firm in their opposition to such barbarity, which offends both the robust and the aesthetes alike. They employ the most discreet, un-thuggish and positively charming security staff I have ever encountered. He does not resemble, nor speak like, one of the higher primates. I was surprised to discover that he can actually hold a sensitive and intelligent conversation. It was also friendly in that, from what we noted, the young spoke with the old, the men with the women, and even the attractive with those not so well endowed. There was no evidence of those loathed cliques. Such discrimination has no place in KAMPUS. I am sure that this will continue. The atmosphere was, of course, enhanced by the civil, efficient and young bar staff. They, like good domestic staff, are hard to come by. Despite Bosie's extravagances, my wallet was not as depleted as it often is elsewhere, for the prices were very reasonable for the City centre. First weekend Like many others, we have been back to KAMPUS since its inauguration in order to gain some wider impressions. Saturday night offered cabaret in the form of Mr Vicky La Plume, who entertains well. She moves well, dresses well and has a quick tongue. These are always qualities I admire. She changes the clothes from her extensive wardrobe even more frequently, and certainly more quickly, than I do. She has an interesting if unorthodox line in headgear. Though her concept of flower-arranging is also somewhat heretical, she was merciless with the Landlady, Ms Smalley. The artiste was right to be so. Staff must be kept in their place. The music had wide appeal, and was well presented during the first weekend by Ms D. Monique, who has a witty and incisive way with words. She must have read some of my own writings. She managed to stimulate, ejaculate and coruscate without any offence. I even heard one young man, who had been the butt of her shafts, bid her a charming farewell. This quality of persiflage, which manages to insult people so graciously, has rarely been heard in public in Lancaster. We believe that whilst Ms D Monique has been engaged to return, another DJ, "Junior" by name, is to be present during the weekend of December 20 and on Christmas Eve. He is a talented, well-presented and able young man, we hear, and bright to boot. Such qualities should be encouraged. Bosie is particularly looking forward to meeting him. Subsequent nights Other nights have seen yet more new faces, again young and old, male and female. One can never meet enough new people in this short life. One might even like some of them. We have also seen students in some numbers. This is to be commended. Students are always stimulating. We have conversed with visitors from outside the Lancaster area, and even spoke to a Frenchman there recently. The French are so well-mannered, except in the kitchen. Our usually pliant houseboy Philippe is no exception. The many people we have spoken to over several soirées have all agreed with me how relaxed and friendly the atmosphere has been even on the busy nights. This is something of a rarity in gay bars. Many less competent landlords (and indeed landladies) seek to impose themselves and their often odd predilections and, even worse, their appalling prejudices, on their customers. I have seen them before hereabouts. You know whom I mean. Their arrogance and ignorance invariably discourage those who might simply wish to differ, as Bosie and I certainly do. Such antipathy invariably and inevitably brings trouble to the unfortunate establishment. Delicate touch Attending on an evening much less busy than the weekend, one noticed how conducive the atmosphere is to a quiet, midweek conversation over refreshments. The sensuous redness of the décor exudes warmth and bestows a feeling of comfortable and peaceable well-being. This is commendable. One does not always feel predisposed to pose, strut or dance, and here was a chance to absorb a more genteel ambience than that of the froward frenzy of the bacchanalia at the weekend. One such evening, after a restorative game of pool, Bosie examined the flowers one of the tasteful vases in the premises, and was astounded to discover that they were real. Yes - fresh flowers. There are some who feel that to be an extravagance, but that demonstrates the lack of a sense of beauty. Flowers are so seldom seen these days, even in the best houses. They should be everywhere. Even we indulge occasionally. This delicate touch defines, for me, the quality of the establishment. Pressing Ms Smalley about this, she replied that she was keen to keep an orderly house in the best traditions of hospitality. "It's just like an old pub used to be", she noted. This was not, thankfully, cheap sentimentality. Indeed, it was a sensible reaffirmation of the principles, so often ignored today, which underlie the basic rules of courtesy and a civilised house. "The staff will speak to you and the landlord will go round and say hello", she added. Oscar's Verdict To sum up, then, the establishment and its clientèle - are civilised. Fortunately, we have seen no evidence of what Bosie's appalling father calls "riff-raff". We felt safe, respected, at home with staff and other patrons alike. We felt valued. This is propitious, because we are important. So are you, dear reader. Mr Parkinson has told me that he is committed to making the venue work for the whole community in the long term. Short-lived business ventures, like relationships, are rarely satisfactory and nearly always frustrating. "I'm here to stay", he stoutly and reassuringly maintains. So Bosie and I shall continue to enjoy the delights of his house, his staff and the refreshments they provide. We wish them well. Copyright © 18 December 2003 Oscar O'Lune and Bosie O'Bare Note: this venue is now closed |
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